


The Worst Way to Say Goodbye

by UpsetLettuce



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout: New Vegas
Genre: Alot of angst, Angst, Crazy!Courier, Drug Abuse, Drug Addiction, He hears voices, I needed soemthing sad, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, he has Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-12
Updated: 2018-07-12
Packaged: 2019-06-09 03:38:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15258594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UpsetLettuce/pseuds/UpsetLettuce
Summary: Involving my Courier Six (From Voices Want Love Too) and Arcade!You don't have to read the other fic to get this, it's actually not done but I really wanted to get this scene out there.





	The Worst Way to Say Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> So Rem is leaving because he is way too stress and wants to learn more about the past he doesn't remember but then Arcade comes in and Remington loses it....
> 
> Also Idk it the Tops has a balcony and I'm pretty sure it doesn't but suck my butt it has one in this fic

Remington stood on the balcony, face buried in his palms and let out a sob. With everything going on from the NCR to the Legion, from Mr. House's offer to needing to help the helpless in the strip, the courier was stressed. 

 

_ I always thought this would be a lot easier. _

 

“So did I.” Remington answered moving his hands away and staring across the strip. The Tops balcony showed a beautifully lit Strip, the courier could spot drunken folk stumbling along and singing loudly. 

 

**Is it bad to say I wish that was us?**

 

Rem let out a chuckle before leaning into the railing, crossing his arms and he studied those below. “Is it bad that I’m actually contemplating that?”

 

**Yes Rem, yes it is.**

 

The courier let out a frustrated sigh, feeling a tear slip out of his eye he was quick to catch it with his hand. “I’m losing my damn mind.”

 

_ If it’s any help, I think you’ve always lost your mind. _

 

**Not helping.**

 

“He’s not far off, I mean I think I do have some issues.” Rem studied a man falling over his own feet, singing loud and off key. “I don’t think all the chems have helped.”

 

**Fixer could help.**

 

_ We’re not that bad. _

 

**Have you seen the arm? That’s not moderate use.**

 

Remington pulled his sleeve up and studied his arm, injection marks from Psycho and Med-X littered his arm causing the courier to quickly replace he’s sleeve in embarrassment.

 

_ Oh shit, yeah that’s bad. _

 

“I can’t just stop, the withdrawals are worse than anything the chems do.”

 

**Then ask Arcade for help, he cares about you.**

 

The courier shook his head, adjusting his weight to the right foot. He thought on Bold’s words before letting out a bitter chuckle. “No way, he’ll just get hurt. I’m doing all I can to avoid that.”

 

**Leaving is not going to help.**

 

_ Right, we’re leaving. _

 

“The farther I’m from the strip and Vegas, the safer everyone will be.” Remington heard footsteps in front of the door and turned quickly but they walked by and he relaxed. “I wanna help but being here isn’t helping.”

 

**Don’t you think just leaving is more extreme?**

 

“No, I can help more this way.”

 

_ I have to agree with bold, we’re just leaving all our responsibilities to everyone else.  _

 

Rem sighed heavily, rubbing his temple with his arms still crossed. “MY responsibility and I have a plan.”

 

**Remington, this is a bad idea.**

 

“Yeah well,” he slammed his fists on the railing, clenching his teeth as he muttered out his words. “What do a bunch of made up voices in my fucking head know?”

 

_ Woah, catch the attitude. _

 

Remington let out a dry chuckle, feeling more tears fall out and he squeezed them to stop them from falling. 

 

“You’re nothing but shit I made up to have excuses for my actions, fuck y’all man.”

 

The courier waited for a quip by the voices by nothing came. He opened his eyes, waiting for anything but it remained silent. 

 

“Guys?”

 

The quiet remained and Remington felt his stomach drop. Those voices have been with him for the entire time since he got shot, and yeah sure, he has no fucking clue whose voice they are, they’ve been there and now… are they gone?

 

“Guys c’mon, I didn’t mean it.”

 

The courier waited but nothing, the unfamiliar silence made his chest compress and his breathing stagger. He fell back as he felt the air around somehow leave him. Rem tried to catch himself in the railing but missed and stumbled to ground, clutching at his chest. He heard heavy, rushing footsteps towards the door and he quickly stood up, he’s head whipped around with dizziness. The speeding footsteps passed his room and Remington let out a breath. He looked over to his pile of chems Arcade had dumped out from his courier sack a few hours earlier after the two got into an argument about it. He thinks the Doc meant to throw them out but left in a angry whirl before he could.

 

Biting his lip, the Courier helped himself up and sluggishly wandered to the table holding the chems. There was a burning of guilt in the back of his throat as he shakily went for a Psycho laying on top just beckoning him on. It had been at least 4 hours since his last hit, a long time for the young man and he started thinking that maybe it was why his voices were gone. Shamefully, he pulled up his sleeve, eyeing a prefect vein and lined up the needle. Remington squeezes his eyes shut, breathed in his full lung capacity, went halfway out and drove the needle down… only for it to be knocked out of his hand forcefully and he pummeled to the ground. 

 

The Courier let out a loud gasp and started struggling against the person on top of him but when he opened his eyes familiar Gray eyes stared him down. A flush overcame Remington and he bite his lip, trying to fight back tears before letting out a nervous chuckle. 

 

“Hey Doc…”

 

Arcade was not amused. 

 

“That’s all you have to say to me? What the hell do you think your doing?!”

 

Rem shifted under the burning gaze of the older man and looked away, the grip on his wrists tightened considerable. 

 

“I’m expecting an answer Remington.”

 

Hearing his name of the tongue of the Doctor made it not sound so foreign or strange, unlike when the Courier himself says it. He felt a tear drag itself down his face and he muttered a quiet profanity before sighing out. 

 

“I-I-I just n-needed something to… I dunno… f-fucking g-g-ground me…”

 

There were more tears and Rem couldn’t stop the pathetic whimpered that feel from his lips, he sounded like a kicked dog. One hand released its grip on the younger man’s wrist and the thumb brushed away the oncoming tears. Remington got the courage to look up at the other and saw a softness in his eyes he’d only seen a few times before. He heard a soft sigh from Arcade, the hand which had wiped away his tears was now cradling his face, the thumb gently grazing along his bottom lip. 

 

“We can use Fixer Remington,” his voice was so soft, like he was afraid to spook the Courier if he spoke too loud. “Please, let me help you.”

 

Remington felt his heartbreak a little when he heard those words pass the other man’s lips. He wanted to be better for the Doctor, he wanted to play patient and be a better man like Arcade thought he was but, he knew he couldn’t. 

 

“I…”

 

The younger man had started to speak but felt the hand on his face still and he felt himself tense up fearfully, afraid he had done something wrong. Arcade’s breaths seemed shorter, he could feel his intakes become harsher but before Rem could say anything, the man leaned in and placed his lips on the courier’s.

 

Remington felt a bliss wash over him, feeling the warm lips he had dreamed about since meeting the Doctor. Slowly and shyly, the younger man returned the kiss, pressing back against the lips before opening his mouth for the man on top of him. Arcade took the opportunity and gingerly slide his tongue into Rem’s mouth, mapping what he could before he pulled away, earning a win from the courier. He opened his eyes to find Arcade’s looking down at him like he was beautiful, something so different to what he felt.  Tears once again formed around Rem’s eyes but before he could turn away in embarrassment the older man wiped them away, kissing away the ones that already fell down his cheek. 

 

“Arcade.” It was so quiet from the usually loud man, it scared himself in a way but he got the man’s attention. “Tomorrow, I just want to go to bed.” There was obviously a differing opinion from the doctor but he didn’t voice it, just nodding and slowly removing himself from the taller man. Remington lifted himself up and used Arcade’s offered hands to get to his feet, he pulled the other man into a kiss, still their same gentle pace. Guiding them towards the bed, he felt his knees bump into it before falling semi-gracefully, pulling Arcade down with him. This caused the other man to freeze and Rem pulled away in fear.

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

Arcade leaned into the man under him, mouth to his ear.

  
“Do you want to do… this?” The question was accompanied with a small roll of Arcade’s hips and it took everything in Remington to suppress a groan.

 

Gods. He wanted to, he really fucking wanted to but…

 

He didn’t want to hurt Arcade in the process, he was leaving no matter what and having this night with Arcade just to leave him later. Remington wasn’t a good man but at least, he wanted to be a better man for someone he cared about. Loved really but he was too much of a coward to admit it.

 

Gentle pushing the Doctor up and shook his head, afraid of the words that would spill out of him, exposing his plan. Arcade nodded, a sad smile on his face but when he went to slip off of Rem, the younger man gripped onto his hips. The older man gave him a concerned look.

 

“I don’t want to be alone tonight Arcade.” 

 

A smile made its way onto Arcade’s face and he nodded, placing one last kiss on Rem’s lips before allowing himself to be pulled down, the taller of the two cuddling him closely. Remington distantly noticed him place his glasses on the nightstand next to him and heard him mutter something about still having shoes on but otherwise stayed put. Salty tears filled Rem’s eyes as he thought about what he was doing, what it would imply in just a few short hours, how selfish he was being but…

 

Maybe the doctor will forgive him this one time.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I've wanted to publish this for a while but wasn't sure because it has to do with my other fic but so much shit has been going on Idk if I'll finish it...
> 
> Comments and Kudos are appreciated! <3


End file.
